Relationships

We talk a lot about respecting boundaries, but the words are often overused. Anytime we feel uncomfortable with something, it’s a good sign that a boundary is involved. Any difficult emotion is a potential indicator. But was it someone crossing a line you clearly set, or was it you disrespecting your own boundary? Often, it’s the latter. And that’s the first and most important question to ask. It’s the clearest way to know when others aren’t respecting boundaries. Boundaries mean different things to different people but relate to what you will accept in speech, action or environment.

In the context of mindset coaching, when we talk about how to detach yourself from someone, what we mean is how to create emotional distance or terminate a relationship. Romantic, platonic, familial, whatever. So often clients will recognize that they deeply desire to detach themselves from someone else, but they get really hung up on how to actually do it.

If you’re asking how to detach yourself from someone, there was probably a precipitating event. But to sum it up, wherever it came from, it reflects a boundary that has been ignored. Usually repeatedly. You start to notice that you don’t feel engaged or uplifted around them.

A few years ago, I was in Morocco with my husband on a spiritual pilgrimage of sorts after my youngest brother passed away. He’d spent a semester abroad there, perfecting his Arabic and French (as one does). I wanted to follow in his footsteps and immerse myself in the culture. It was a mixed bag.

There were so many powerful experiences on that trip, but there was one afternoon that really stands out even now. And it has everything to do with the importance of learning to be present.

The concept of an inner critic is so fascinating. As far as we know, it’s completely unique to humans. My dog doesn’t beat herself up for gaining a few pounds, and she’s happy to take a “lazy” day on the sofa over exercise 100% of the time. But when a human has those moments, we’re all familiar with that inner voice. You’re gross, lazy, embarrassing, sloppy, undisciplined, directionless, and on and on.

If you identify as an empath or a highly sensitive person, you might be wondering how to stop absorbing other people’s emotions. But what does that mean, exactly? We often talk about empathic traits as a double-edged sword. On one hand it’s a gift to be able to feel another’s emotions, to better understand where they’re coming from. On the other hand it feels overwhelming when we don’t know how to stop absorbing other people’s emotions.